Conquering Riding Anxiety Through Tapping: An Interview with Sarah Louise Lilley

Who here has ever had anxious, racing thoughts when it comes to riding a horse (or an airplane in turbulence)? I’m raising my hand! lol Anyway, I’m excited to introduce you to Sarah Louise Lilley, an equestrian passionate about helping riders overcome the crazy brain games and anxiety. Sarah was a guest on the Barn Banter by Horse Illustrated podcast I cohost and shared about the Emotional Freedom Technique (sometimes referred to as Tapping)–a fascinating topic!

What is tapping you ask? That’s what you’re going to learn in this Q & A. 

Tapping might seem a little woo woo at first, but the more I got to learn about EFT, it reminded me of a conversation I had decades ago with my chiropractor about how the body and brain can heal.

Saddle up to learn about both Sarah and her horsey life and the interesting Tapping work that she does. So without further ado, here is an interview with my friend Sarah Louise Lilley. Enjoy!

Sarah, our paths first crossed at both Equine Affaire and Pony Club Convention where you were presenting. Please share what your talks were about.

At Equine Affaire I asked the audience, “Who is familiar with tapping?” And I was amazed how many hands went up. It was a sea of hands – it was so cool. I’ve really seen awareness grow over the last five years.

My first presentation was Tapping for Equestrians (which I also did at the U.S. Pony Club Convention) and we did an interactive group EFT session which was really fun.

My second lecture was Hidden Habits That Shape Your Confidence in the Saddle. We talked about nervous system habits (I’m a habit nerd), why some “good habits” feel counterintuitive and simple micro-habits that build nervous system resilience – so you can ride with more ease and confidence.

How did you first get interested in exploring tapping and at what point did you decide to pursue it as a career path to help people?

I had a minor fall and broke my finger. It wasn’t a big deal and I was back on a horse in a couple of months. But suddenly I had this anxiety I couldn’t shake…It was soooooo frustrating! It was ruining my favorite thing to do. I’d always been a confident rider. I had other falls. What the #%€* was going on? I started to feel like there was something wrong with me!

It wasn’t until I used EFT that things started to shift. EFT gave me back the joy and connection of being with horses!

After that, I pivoted my business to supporting equestrians. I saw so many riders struggling with nerves and anxiety and it broke my heart. If riding no longer feels fun, safe, or joyful, that’s not a failure – it’s a sign your nervous system needs support. EFT is the tool I wish I’d found sooner. It’s simple, effective, and it works.

And this latest chapter of using Tapping with horses has opened up new ways to create ease, release, and connection – for my clients and their horses.

Before we go any further, tell us about your horse and your riding?

I bought my first horse, Luna, a bay TB/Oldenburg, three years ago. In the first two years of our partnership, we competed in low-level eventing. After moving to a new barn, we’ve shifted our focus to helping Luna find greater ease and relaxation in her body, which has been really rewarding. We’ve been playing with liberty and bridleless work and exploring the stunning trails that my barn has access to.

What exactly is tapping and how does it work?

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), also called “Tapping,” is an evidence-based nervous system tool that combines elements of modern psychology with the ancient art of acupressure.

Using your fingertips to gently tap on specific acupressure points, Clinical EFT can be used to release the root causes of PTSD, trauma, phobias and anxious thinking. (It may sound “woo woo,” but clinical studies show EFT sends calming signals to the brain and rewires your neural pathways. There are 200+ articles in peer-reviewed journals showing the efficacy of EFT!)

What brings someone, specifically an equestrian, to try tapping? What types of riding or personal concerns are people seeking help with?

My passion is helping equestrians overcome fears, blocks and trauma so they can reconnect to their confidence, truly partner with their horse and (most importantly) find the FUN again in their horse journey.

Equestrians often come to me feeling frustrated, stuck and alone. They have tried all the mindset tools, read all the books but nothing seems to help. If anything their anxiety is getting worse not better!

One client, Laurie, had a really scary fall riding and was having typical PTSD-like symptoms – intrusive thoughts, flashes of things she saw or felt that day. She desperately wanted to ride again, but it felt impossible. Just thinking about riding she could feel the panic in her body. Part of her thought about giving up riding. She even considered selling her horse. She felt like she had lost a part of herself and didn’t know how to get it back.

We tapped and over the course of two months we rewired her brain around that trauma so it no longer triggered her. EFT gave her back the freedom and joy she felt in the saddle.

Other equestrians struggle with boundaries, people-pleasing or perfectionism. My client Sophie had a hard time communicating clearly with her exuberant young horse in her groundwork session. Or Hannah who rode beautifully at home but fell apart in the pressure of the show ring. Or Lisa, a barn owner struggling with burnout and holding boundaries with challenging clients.

I’ve worked with equestrians from all over the world across all disciplines and levels – polo players, professionals showjumpers, eventers, reiners, dressage riders and trail riders.

And my latest project is bringing this same powerful work to horses in a light and curious way to help equestrians deepen their connection with their horse.

What kind of certifications and/or training did you go through?

I’m certified through EFT Universe, Dawson Church’s Clinical EFT program. I also teach EFT there now and mentor the next generation of EFT practitioners.

Can you walk me through what a first-time client might experience during a session?

Before I agree to work with a client we always chat on Zoom for about 45 min. We talk about their goals, how EFT can help and any questions they have. That allows everyone to come to the first session feeling comfortable and relaxed.

Typically, for a first session, I keep it very gentle. My goal is to introduce them to the EFT points and give them some simple ways to use EFT to regulate and resource their nervous system. We often use a first session to process any emotions around the “issue” – frustration and shame are very common and clients typically leave that first session feeling a lot lighter and more hopeful. In future sessions, we will dive deeper.

Can you speak to the differences that distinguish EFT from other mindfulness, relaxation, or stress-management techniques?

A big distinction is that EFT is a somatic or body-based modality. The anxiety is not in your head (it’s in your body). Many of my clients were told to “just think positive” or to “just push through” and, as Bessel van der Kolk famously wrote, The Body Keeps the Score.

My clients are highly intelligent and capable, I say (lovingly) all the time, “If this was in your head, you would have figured this out by now. What we need to do is support your body, support your nervous system, and let it know these events that it’s holding on to are no longer a threat. But we can’t TELL the nervous system you’re safe; we have to SHOW it. And we do that through somatic work, through the felt experience.”

Another key distinction is that we’re not just managing the symptoms, we’re getting to the root and releasing the underlying dysregulation. We’re creating lasting change by rewiring the brain around past events so you are no longer triggered in the present.

How do you explain EFT to someone who is skeptical of it?

I had a conversation with a now-client last week and she said, “I don’t listen to anyone’s advice anymore as nothing helps. But recently I’ve been watching my friend ride and it’s like she is a whole different rider – brave, fast and confident. I asked her what changed and she said she’d been working with you. So I don’t really understand this tapping thing but I’m convinced!” So #1 I would say the results speak for themselves 🤪

#2 I get it. Tapping can feel weird at first…I’m having you tap on your face and torso, it’s unfamiliar.

#3 Dawson Church and Peta Stapleton are the two lead researchers for EFT and we have so much clinical data from trials using MRIs, ECGs, mapping gene expression, measuring stress hormones, collaborations with Stephen Porges – proving the efficacy of EFT. I’m happy to share and nerd out about that anytime.

What qualifications or training should someone look for when choosing an EFT practitioner?

I would recommend finding a Clinical EFT practitioner certified from EFT Universe or EFT International because clinical EFT has scientific research behind it. With Clinical EFT we’re getting to the root of the fear, block, phobia and creating long lasting change.

There is a lot of “positive affirmation tapping” all over YouTube – a la Stuart Smalley from SNL (Wow I’m definitely dating myself with that reference!) Those might make you feel temporarily more positive but I liken it to putting a band-aid over an infected wound. It will look better briefly, but will fester and become much more painful over time.

[Susan: I love the Stuart Smalley reference. “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough…”]

Can people safely learn basic tapping on their own, or are there circumstances where professional guidance is important?

Former clients tell me all the time, “Your techniques and guidance are still with me. I use EFT all the time” Or “I’m confident I have the tools to cope with whatever life throws at me.” And what I love about EFT is that you have the tool for life and it’s even something you can explore alongside your horse.

I would suggest working with a practitioner if you want to explore a trauma or any repeating pattern that you can’t seem to shift. A practitioner can use co-regulation – their grounded presence helping your nervous system feel safe enough to gently work with what’s coming up. A practitioner will also be able to support you in a titrated way, at a speed that is supportive to your nervous system.

How can someone who is interested in learning more about what you do or working with you reach out?

You can read more on my website EmotionalFreedomwithSarah.com or jump on a free roadmap call with me if you have questions or want to know more about what working together looks like. Also, keep an eye out for my new membership called Tapping with Horses where we’ll explore techniques to create a deeper bond with your horse.

And if you are anxiety is taking all the fun out of your riding, I will tell you what I wish someone had told me:

You’re not alone.

Your body isn’t out of control; it’s a badass at keeping you safe.

The anxiety is not in your head (it’s in your body).

There’s nothing wrong with you, you just need a tool to process and release the trauma.

This is a solvable problem

Thank you, Sarah, for giving us this great overview on Tapping for equestrians, and keep up the good work, and thank you for reading my blog. Have you heard of Tapping before? What methods do you use to quell nerves around horses? Share in the comments. 🙂

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