How Not to Behave on Equestrian Social Media

Why are you using that bit?

Can you send me free product?

I think I’ll just put my watermark on her photo. I can crop out her watermark.

This girl clearly doesn’t feed her horse enough/know how to ride/have the right clothes. . . 

At times I have a love/hate relationship with equestrian social media. I love it because I have made many new friends I never would have found without it. I’ve been inspired by following stories of fellow equestrians like me who work hard to keep a horse in their life and grow as horsewomen despite the ups and downs. Also, it’s a great tool to learn about new products and services. However there is a dark side to equestrian social media.

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The dark side of equestrian social media is people behaving badly. These unsavory behaviors range from bullying and stealing to plain ol’ thoughtlessness. In this post I enumerate behaviors to avoid. Some of these “what not to do” come from my own experience and some from the experiences of my friends. Since there’s not a Miss Manners Guide to Equestrian Social Media Etiquette, I’ll step in and highlight some things to avoid and show how to play nice.

9 Behaviors to Avoid on Equestrian Social Media (or any social media) and What to Do Instead

1. Don’t steal people’s images or use them improperly.

Sadly, this happens all the time. Right now without thinking too hard I can come up with three examples from three different friends this has happened to. One just last week.

From a friend: “I happily sent photos (free of charge) from a show this weekend to a few riders and asked for the watermark to remain on and credit to be given. Unfortunately credit wasn’t given and a portion of the watermark was cropped out on a few.”

Along with this, sometimes people will leave the original watermark on an image but then make a second watermark with their name/account and super size it. That is wrong because it’s like they are claiming by virtue of their second, mega watermark that the image or video is theirs when in reality its not.

What to do instead: Give credit where credit is due. If someone is kind enough to give you pictures of you and your horse, make sure that you are honoring them in tagging them properly. Don’t edit out someone’s watermark–it’s there for a reason–so they get credit for their original work.

2. Don’t try to sell a product using someone else’s photo.

This also happened to a friend. She was scrolling through Instagram and noticed an account had used one of her pictures to try to sell products. Granted, they gave photo credit to her, but they did not have permission to use her image as an ad.

What to do instead: Ask permission from the photographer to use their image and don’t expect it to be free. Or you could take your own photos for your advertising needs. 

3. Don’t outright copy people.

You’ve heard the saying, great minds think alike. Well, that’s true, but when one person on Instagram for example does the exact same pose or copies the caption on an Instagram post, that’s not playing nice.

A post shared by The Modern Equestrian (@modernequestrian) on Apr 15, 2018 at 10:56am PDT

I love following the account @modernequestrian. She does this amazing series of posts called “view from the top.” Long story short, I have done a couple of my own posts like that, but I credit her in the post. I say something like “channeling my inner @modernequestrian.” It’s just polite to acknowledge people you are trying to be like. I would have never thought of taking a picture from that angle, why not credit her genius?

What to do instead. . . Imitation is a form of flattery. If you are trying to get creative ideas from others in the equestrian social media space, that’s fine but emulate people and tag them in a shoutout. Give credit for your inspiration.

4. Don’t critique people’s horse, riding, etc. unless they ask for your input.

It is astounding to me to read posts by very accomplished riders where they have to say, “No negative comments please,” to lead off their post. When I read that I usually think: 1. I would love to ride like this person, 2. Who appointed the negative critique givers to be the next George Morris?

Not every horse thrives on being ridden in the textbook “correct” manner. For example, my horse Knight really likes to be ridden with a low-positioned hand and rein contact. In pictures it looks completely weird to me. It looks like I don’t know proper equitation. But the reality is when he is able to carry himself that way, he is more relaxed and happier. I’d rather have a relaxed and happy horse than look perfect in the saddle.

What to do instead: Work on yourself and your riding. Feel free to share when people ask for your opinion. 

5. Don’t screenshot pictures of people and enter them into negative private Facebook groups.

It’s sad to me that these bullying Facebook groups exist in the first place, but I know that there are people with too much time on their hands and people who only feel good about themselves when they can belittle someone else. So I have a feeling these groups will never go away.

But something to keep in mind is if you screenshot someone else’s photo. . . I feel like if you are going to be the person who is publicly scrutinizing others for their horsemanship, you need to be okay with the same thing happening to you. If you’re critical of someone else, are you okay if the tables are turned and your riding/horse care are put under the microscope?

What to do instead: If you have a real concern about someone being unsafe around horses, you can kindly and privately ask them questions. Even easier: mind your own business and work on you being the best rider and best horse care giver possible.

6. Don’t ask people to give you a shoutout or followback.

This happens frequently to Instagrammers with large followings. The person wanting the SFS or F4F (the shortened version of “shoutout for shoutout” and “follow for follow”) will usually send a direct message that asks for a shoutout or follow–probably thinking it’s a way to grow their own account. However, it’s annoying and time consuming for the person being asked.

Imagine how many requests like this someone with a sizeable account receives! People who ask for this kind of inauthentic engagement put the person they asked in an awkward position. Most people are really nice and they feel bad having to say no to such a request. Not only that, but when they get multiple requests of this nature it really is a time waste for them to have to respond to each person.

What to do instead: Work on building authentic relationships on your chosen social media. If you leave quality comments on someone else’s account, perhaps they will engage with you and follow you back. You can grow your account and build relationships in a non-smarmy way and everyone will be happier.

7. Don’t hound people who don’t wear helmets.

I am a firm believer in wearing a helmet on horseback. Not everyone shares my same conviction. And it’s okay. I get to be in charge of me, and you get to be in charge of you. (Click here to read why I firmly believe in helmets.)

If you are a die-hard helmet wearer, you are not going to “convert” non-helmet wearers through badgering them on Facebook or Instagram posts. Furthermore, if you don’t even know the person in real life, your input on helmets probably will not win them over. You know how nobody changes their political views based on reading one person’s politically charged Facebook posts? It’s kinda that way with the helmet issue. Just leave it alone. If the person is a real life friend of yours, you can privately share your feelings with him or her.

What to do instead: Keep wearing your own helmet and be a role model in real life and on social media.

8. Don’t criticize people for using bits.

This is kind of like the “don’t hound people who don’t wear helmets” idea. Just because a person rides their horse with a bit doesn’t mean they’re abusive or hurting their horse. Conversely, just because someone uses a bitless bridle, bosal or hackamore doesn’t mean they’re NOT hurting their horse. We tried Knight in a bitless bridle and he didn’t like it. So D-ring snaffle it is.

Keep in mind every horse and rider pair is different. What works for some won’t work for all. They way you do things is not a mandate for the rest of the equestrian world.

What to do instead: Embrace the diversity of tack options and types of horses that exist.

9. Don’t ask for handouts from brands.

You wouldn’t just walk up to a person working at Starbucks or Nordstrom or any other store you frequent and ask them for free stuff would you? Well, some people do this with equestrian brands that are on social media.

Unless you have tens of thousands of followers or a platform in the online space via blogging which has given you some kind of social authority, or you know the business owner behind the brand, it’s just tacky to ask for free things.

There is such a thing as pitching brands for collaboration, but in order to do this, you need to have some kind of benefit to both sides (not just you wanting to have a cute new T-shirt or belt or whatever the item is). Pitching equestrian brands on social media is different from asking for handouts and doesn’t really apply to the typical social media user.

What to do instead: Stop asking for free things and save up to buy what you want for yourself. Or work on building your equestrian platform so that you are considered an authority in your niche. Then you can properly pitch brands for collaboration (which is totally different than asking for free stuff).

In conclusion, I think social media would be even more fun if we all employed the Golden Rule: treat people the way you want to be treated. What do you think?

I’d love to hear from you–go for it! Leave a comment. Have you ever noticed bad behaviors pop up on equestrian social media? Which number in this list do you think is most common? Why do you think there are some who don’t “play nice?”

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Trot along with my OTTB Knight and me on all the fabulous social media outlets where we try to follow the Golden Rule at all times. You’ll see us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.