The One (Horse) That Got Away

It took me 39 years to find my husband, and I’m sincerely hoping it will not take 39 years (even months) to find my next horse.

Regular blog readers know that I’m in the midst of trying to find my equine life partner. This hunt is almost as challenging as trying to meet and keep a good man. The key difference is if you do end up with a bad horse you can place an ad on Craigslist or Dreamhorse.com and try to sell it. And if that doesn’t work, you can donate it to a camp or college riding program. You simply cannot do that with your boyfriend or husband under any circumstances.

One positive part about conducting a horse search, as frustrating as it can be, is having a reason to connect with horsey friends from days of yore. In this age of Facebook, even if I’m not with barn friends from a previous decade or state, I still feel connected. I see pictures of their horses or kids in my news feed and I feel like I am in touch with them. It is a passive manner of staying friends even if there’s been no real in-person interaction in years. Life is full and the daily routine gets in the way of intentional personal contact with fellow horsey girls. It’s sad but true.

I had the sweet experience a few days ago of sending a message to a friend I met when I boarded DC in Pasadena in the late 90s and early 2000s (not sure how to express years around 2004). The last time I saw her I was living in Illinois again and while she was in Illinois visiting family,  she drove to visit DC and me. She took a day out of her summer vacation to drive and hour to see the box stall, paddock, indoor and outdoor arena that was home to my big bay. My friend drove the complete opposite direction of where Chicago tourists journey to head to the cornfields and spend an hour with me at the barn.

That is a good friend.

When I moved back to California after my two-year stint of living in my Chicago homeland, I reconnected with her via email a few times. DC had stayed in Illinois and I leased a dressage horse at the barn in Pasadena. My friend had moved on to another equestrian center so I didn’t connect with her as I had in previous years.

Her name popped into my brain last week as someone I should alert to my horse hunt. So out of the blue I sent an email with my horse wish list. Her response was cute: “I think you’re describing my horse, but he’s not for sale.”

A friend of hers is ALSO conducting a horse search and had found two nice ones near San Diego. One of the two, an Irish Sport Horse gelding, is not fourth level dressage material (which is what her friend is looking for) but sounded perfect for me. And he lives in the same city I had just been to when I tried out the Keeneland bay last Thursday.

I messaged the warmblood breeder on Facebook and after not hearing anything for a few days I called and left a voice mail. I told her I was referred through a friend of a friend and that I was going to be in San Diego for an educator’s conference Sunday through Wednesday and I’d love to set up a meet and greet for this awesome Irish Sport Horse of hers to coincide with the conference. I hadn’t even seen a picture of the horse and didn’t know his height, but I trusted my friend’s gut on this horse.

Next, I got an email from my friend who said if I looked on her friend’s Facebook page I’d see video of the gelding. I found the Facebook page, scrolled down to the video, watched and thought, “That’s the one!”

He was being ridden by the fourth level dressage horse shopper whose Facebook page I was perusing and she had him trotting and cantering around like a dream. He is bay. He is very handsome. He is said to possess a good personality and is quiet. I want that horse! Sold! Sold! Sold!

My hopes were high until I received a text from the breeder Monday night, “Sorry for the delay. . . he is currently being held with a deposit and a vet check pending. Should anything arise and he remains available I can definitely get in touch with you. If you would like to send a brief description of what you’re looking for, I can put out feelers on your behalf. . . I have a lot of equine connections and word of mouth is often the best way to locate a quality horse. :)”

To which I responded with a seven point list of what I was looking for starting with “1. sound” and ending with “7. I’m a teacher so my budget is modest, but I am an attentive horse ‘mom.’ I am in this for the long haul, not just a show season or two. The joy is in the everyday hanging out with my horse, not collecting colorful ribbons. Tusks for keeping me in mind.”

And then I realized darn auto-correct’s mistake so I followed up with “Thanks, not tusks.”

The breeder responded she needed a clone of the horse for me, for which I thanked her and said that was very kind.

So the Irish Sport Horse got away from me it seems. And I guess it’s meant to be. But one thing’s for sure, I don’t have to let my lovely barn friend get away from me, even though we live over an hour away from each other and both have hectic teaching jobs. And will be keeping our horses at barns also an hour away from each other.

She reports back to work next week and I’m here in San Diego this week so we can’t coordinate a time for lunch or dinner.  I told her it had been too long and we need to shoot for a get together in mid-September, after Back to School Night.

“And I’ll come meet you at the barn and grab a bite to eat afterward, after I get to meet this wonderful horse of yours that you won’t sell to me.”

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